Sometimes while travelling you make plans to share private accommodation instead of all sharing a hostel dorm room together. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not.

We rented a really nice Villa in Uluwatu on Bali Island in Indonesia and it turned out to be a fantastic choice.

The Villa is one of the nicest accommodations that I’ve ever stayed in and sharing it with people you just met can be a recipe for disaster, thankfully not this time.

But…

People make decisions in their best self-interest.

A fact of life.

This is a story of when I let me guard down, read social cues wrong and let others make the decisions for me, and learned a valuable lesson in the process.

Villa Group

Everything started out great with the villa, new friends, awesome accommodation, great location in the world. What could go wrong?

Started off great. Day clubbing at Omnia Day Club, then over to another beach club called Single Fin. Both great locations for partying.

Things get interesting at dinner when one of our group has to leave for the airport and the group decides to let him take one of the scooters back to the Villa, leaving 5 of us with 2 scooters.

It’s decided that one of us would have to take a cab home and since I had been drinking I was not OK to drive.

Well, it didn’t register to my reptilian brain yet that I was in fact the 5th wheel, the odd man out. The man left behind. The waste of space. A second-class citizen. The bottom feeder. The lowest rank and the least valued.

The one taking the cab.



When two from our group left, we only had one scooter between the three of us and the woman with us was uncomfortable with three on a scooter. It didn’t occur to me till later that they wanted to hook up with each other and I was not wanted there, hence, me taking a cab.

Well, we can’t just leave a defenseless woman by herself! That would be bad because women can’t take care of themselves. But we’re totally OK with leaving a drunk man to fend for himself.  A classic example of the “Female Privilege” in our society but I digress.

Luckily, I’m completely capable of being alone and can take care of myself.

I’m not at all angry at the others for acting in their own self interest but I made a gross mistake by letting others make the decisions for me and not putting myself in this situation in the first place.

I put my well being into the other’s hands and I was let down, bigly. But I’m not surprised.

I clearly made a mistake here and learned to not put myself in that situation again. I need to position myself with maximum freedom to do what I want and not be beholden to anyone else. Completely self-sufficient at all times and always able to walk away.

I did what was easiest for the group and not what was in my best interest.

I fucked up.

Nobody is coming to pick me up when I fall or hold my hand. That’s a person everybody secretly despises but won’t openly admit it. A pathetic man is one who cannot take care of himself, let alone anyone else. Useless.

I also need to read the situation better and be more self sufficient.

Lesson learned.

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